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 Hello,
ladies!!! My name is Ryan Gilliam and, yes, I am an actor.
No, I wasn't always an actor. I too had my humble beginnings
in which I started out bagging groceries for little
old ladies and taking them out to their "wow-I-can't-believe-this-old-thing-still-runs"
excuse for a means of transportation, staring at their backsides
as I pushed the grocery cart. Yeah, I did that for a while
but then, growing increasingly aware of the fact that I had
no money, no friends and no career, I became very dissatisfied.
I decided to purchase a copy of the day's newspaper and, looking
in the classifieds, there was one ad that caught my eye.
It read something like this, "You could make one-million
dollars in no time at all!" After calling the listed
900 number, my life was changed-- because on the other end
of that phone was Zach Action, an Executive Producer of "Seriously
Hilarious." He wanted to see me the very next day
so I drove 1000 miles in one night just to shake his hand
and meet with him about the opportunity. Well, needless
to say, he hired me on the spot. When I asked him about
the one million dollars, he replied, "Learn to write
something, kid, then we'll talk. For now, you just concentrate
on making SH the best damn production this side of the moon.
You'll get your fortune and glory, one way or another."
In the following months, as he was teaching me to cry on cue,
spit forty feet, and tie my shoes together, Zach became more
than my boss. He became my mentor and my friend.
Today, I sit/stand before you fine people, a new man,
one that is not afraid to take risks, one that is happy with
himself, and finally, one that is no longer observing the
sway in the hips of 70 to 80-something year olds...
well, once in a while, maybe.
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